Personal File and Notes

[there_is_a_me]

•As a result of his years of torture, Spoon heals even faster than the average werewolf.

• His parents are still alive, living in Hartlepool. Right now, he doesn't remember much about them.

•Spoon isn't, and wasn't, close to his family. They're amiable, but the difference between before September 2001 and after is only the length of time since the last phone call, and the knowledge that another won't come. His parents will be pleased to know he's alive.

• Spoon's father is a carpenter. His mother works from home doing transcription for a doctor's office.

• He had a fiancee, Helen Stapleton, before the events of Dog Soldiers. After being told he was dead, she mourned for a year or so, then got married. At this point she has two children, and very much loves her husband. She still thinks about Spoon fondly, but it's an old regret. There will be no rekindling of that romance.

•Spoon is not an alpha wolf. He will never be an alpha wolf. Spoon may make it up to beta, at some point, but he's never going to challenge anyone for dominance.

•He can't stand the sound of ticking clocks. They drive him crazy, and he'll quietly dismantle any that he comes in contact with.

•He identifies more as Spoon than as any other form of his name. For all intents and purposes, that's the only name he really acknowledges.

•He chain-smokes because smoking is a human thing to do, not a wolf thing. Human movements are very important to him, because he's lost so many of them.

•He carries a great deal of shame about his condition. Years of being trapped as the wolf, followed by months of people telling him that the wolf was bad, have caused him to be very, very conflicted.

•Spoon habitually moves a little bit slower than normal people, his body hasn't lost the habit that "normal speed = getting shot". Likewise, he moves with an odd sort of grace from too many months locked in the wolf's body unable to change back to the man's.

•He is currently on several medications to help him keep the wolf under control, and is being tapered off of them slowly.

•When wounded, startled, or badly enough upset Spoon can't control a change into werewolf form. Even on nights other than the full moon. He's aware of this, and tries very hard not to let things upset him.

•His canon personality is still present, it's just hidden under layers of pain. Eventually he will be back to the joker seen in the beginning of Dog Soldiers, even if it's with a more bitter, older, and more cynical edge.

•Spoon wanted, very badly, to believe in England. September 2001 destroyed that. The next couple of years destroyed his ability to think in terms larger than about fifty people at a time. Right now, he's focusing on three: himself, Annie Wells, and the promise that Sarge will help him.

•He's got no intention, at all, of being this broken forever. He's going to learn how to function, or he's going to die, and there is no way in hell that he's going to let Pretlow kill him without yet another fight. If he has to go back and start school again, he'll do it.

•He's not comfortable being alone. He's been watched every second of every day for so long that he's not able to relax alone. He needs to have someone in sight, sound, or scent range.

•He doesn't have a terribly good grasp of self right now. I am Spoon and I want a fucking fag is about the limit of his self-definition at this point in time. He's trying, very hard, to find things that he can hold onto in order to redefine himself as human. Carpentry is one of those things.

•In a very real way, he's fixated on Annie as his safety net. This will transfer mostly to Harry when the pack alpha comes for him, but Annie is the first human that he's seen since Scotland who has no interest in him as anything other than someone to help. She's the one who Came To Save Him, and she's Sarge's wife, and if nothing else is clear in Spoon's mind the fact that he'd do anything she asked without question is.

•He is claustrophobic. However, he's been through so much worse that he can ignore being in walls as long as nobody is poking him, prodding him, or assaulting him with silver.

•Spoon does not like uniforms. Doctor, military, whatever, he doesn't like uniforms and will try not to look at people wearing them.

•Given a task, he will do it in a single-minded manner. If it is something that will naturally lead into something else, he'll continue onto the next thing. For instance: The window doesn't close quite right leads into fix the window leads into check all the windows and fix anything wrong.

•He doesn't go for walks so much as runs. He's not trying to improve his speed, he's just trying to outrace his demons. He won't run during the daylight.

•He keeps his voice low and gentle. This is based off of the idea that if he relaxed even his voice to normal he might possibly lose control of the wolf.